Insignificance

Wednesday, June 8

I really don't understand people nowadays.. everyone seems to think that they all have the right to change people from who they are to what they expect people to be.. people judge, insult, and ultimately annoy people all the way till their guts and never experience a single guilt about it.. and sometimes I seriously wonder hard how they manage to get a decent shut eye every night after their irrational statements/comments of torment to that one person because personally, I can't.. and yes I admit it, I had a few inflicted emotional-bashings myself but this goes on a more general view of the public instead of me alone.. one thing I applaude on myself is that my sensitive character dominates my whole personality to become more conscious of other people's feelings and this is often perceived by the public as non-masculine or should I say not manly enough for being a guy, and my respond to that is "fuck off! and screw you! because I don't give a FUCK on what u guys think". Sometimes when I'm in those days where I just get so pissed off about the smallest little thing and I'll turn someone's sunday morning into "judgement day" intentionally but I couldn't live up to the guilt that I had just insulted a person, a friend, a human and I would apologize to settle off the unbearable guilt from my conscience.. but some fucktards went on through the day as if it was all in a day's work for them regardless of what they did.. and this really trips me off like a rampaging bull.. at times, friends often treat me as a push-over due to my amazing level of tolerance who just sucks in wadever comments bombarded at them like a bullet through water.. at times when I'm just in a conversation with friends or wadever, I would be the first one to get dissed on, NOT because I dun possess a single sense of sarcastic humour and believe me, I AM able to differentiate between sarcasm and being serious.. my every gesture and actions would trigger an insult to myself hurtful enough to make u low for the whole afternoon and that's how sensitive I get, why do they do this? only God knows.. I'll just look away from the people of crappy comments and talk about other stuff or approach a neutral friend to start over another coversation completely ignoring that they'd actually said a single word, no doubt my only single form of escape for being in denial.. Sometimes it's better off being alone rather than being with people around you that take u for granted for who u are and find it troublesome to give you a lil respect for being a friend.. well, though I'm not that of a "saint" myself, but somewhere deep down inside I still have hope that every human is good in nature and there's good in everyone... NOT!

Labels: rants, thoughts

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Dezmond sprouts at 6/08/2005 12:50:00 AM | Permalink

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