Insignificance

Saturday, August 13

it's been a while since I last blogged, all the stress and tension building up is just unbearable. All I want to do now is study, study and STUDY. If only I was to get involved in a car accident(touch wood), get admitted to the hospital, syringed with "salt water" with 3 meals a day, air conditioned and no distractions, along with my chemistry, physics, and math books keeping me company for the next 14 hours per day up till the big day of STPM, even a nuclear explosion won't keep me from my books, Never. Nonetheless, if I were to be completely indulged and concentrated on my studies, I wouldn't be failing every exams in school. Talk is cheap and I admit it. Guess I'd better put into more effort on next week's physic's test again.

Lately, my emotions and feelings are really affecting the way I think and talk. Never expected to fall back for the same person all over again after all these years, surprising? I know. As ridiculous as I'm going to sound, but I'm pretty much paralysed from my own control of emotions. I really really wanna back off from her as much as I did like before but saying "no" seems so hard. We've had our arguements over and over again but over the past few years, we've become good friends. I just want to let go of this piece of feeling, lock it and melt the key into deformity and accept the fact that we're only friends. I just HAD to express this out in the open because I can't stand it, nothing really matters anymore other than getting it all out of my system for some ventilation. There, I finally said it.

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Dezmond sprouts at 8/13/2005 03:10:00 AM | Permalink

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